Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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