yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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