I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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