I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
