Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I love you.
Bad choice
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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