I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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