just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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