Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
