I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
