I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
