"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
