I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize