every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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