i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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