I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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