she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
