can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
