Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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