Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
