he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
