Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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