i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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