wat bout pragnant strippers??
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
