We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
