I'm really into asian looking animals
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
