I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize