Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I could fuck to npr.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
