What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception