that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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