How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
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She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
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Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement