Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
