Can Purell be used as lube?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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