Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
