i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
