Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
