Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
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I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
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On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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