I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
