Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
even my farts smell like vagina
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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