Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
