I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
