She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
