I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
two words...techno handjob
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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