girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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