Only a mothe r could love this liver
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
