What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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