we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize