my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
