I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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