good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
