bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
