Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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