I want to make a zoo with you.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize