i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
