I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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