I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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