you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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