I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I supernannyed him into submission
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize