speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
