Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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